Trust, A Letter To My Father

Pops,

In you, I’ve always understood that I had something a lot of people didn’t. What is it that separates you as a father and a man? What is it that distinguishes our relationship? I look back over the 28 years that I’ve known you and, if I have to be concise, I’m lead to characterize it as trust.

Pops I can depend on you to be there for my children and myself. This has been stress-tested throughout my life and theirs. A lot of people can’t write that pop. But that alone doesn’t encapsulate what I mean when I write of trust.

During the making of my film, the cast, crew, and I would have a heart to heart seemingly all the time. On one occasion I decided to give them their flowers and begrudgingly (I certainly get that from you) I had to accept when the team gave me mine. A reoccurring compliment was that I was open with my vulnerability. For a while, I wondered where exactly that came from, and today the answer crystallized.

As a child I viewed you as a Superhero sir, you couldn’t have any flaws. You could’ve basked in that facade for as long as possible. Instead, you laid your soul bare for me: your good and bad, the highlights and the mistakes. You implored me to learn from your life and be sure to do better than you. Think about that… My Superhero admitted his flaws to me. He must trust me, so now I trust him. That trust is the foundation of my courage to be true to myself. I never had to feign perfection in front of my father, why would I need to do it for anyone else? As a result, when I came into manhood and fatherhood I had the wherewithal to stay steady through the highs and the lows.

You are a father that chose for his son to respect him rather than to fear him (you 60 years old with a 6 pack you didn’t ever have to worry about a lack of fear). You are a father who had the wisdom to use vulnerability as a conduit to reach my heart and teach me valuable lessons that you otherwise couldn’t. You are a Superhero sir, and words can’t express the amount of respect and gratitude I have for you. Happy Father’s Day!

Love you Pops,

Zach